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scabs

by camp counselor

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1.
i have scars up and down my body from taking shape as i learned to take up space i have scars all over my heart from when we spent some time together i have wounds up and down my body in plain view so everyone can see what you did to me what you did to me i have trauma heavy in my brain it repeats the same old things what you did to me what you did to me what you did to me what you did to me
2.
cotton mouth 03:03
in a room with faces i don't know the names to staring at my laces so i don't have to feeling like a jack in the box wondering when i'm going to pop they're just white noise they're just white noise they're just white noise they're just white noise he whispered in my ear in a room with faces i know staring at my laces head low feeling like im frozen in place once i thaw, i'll get a taste of shortened breath they're just white noise they're just white noise they're just white noise they're just white noise he whispered in my ear but i don't want to be here i don't want to be here i don't want to be here i whispered in his ear
3.
sometimes i get overwhelmed by small things and feelings i don't know well like breathing while crying or seeing the good in those that have wronged me i'm so sick of crying, i don't have anymore in me i'm so sick of crying, i don't have anymore in me i don't think i can be forgiving forgiving teach me the value i don't think i can be forgiving forgiving
4.
black crayon 03:48
i was sixteen, you were fifteen a christmas tree showed up in the cafeteria and i sat at your lunchtable i was seventeen, you were sixteen we were both in a school play, you were faster in cross country i always thought you'd be by my side, i always thought you'd be in my life i was eighteen, you were seventeen we were both falling in love for the first time now i'm 25, crying in the bathroom looking at pictures online, that i took of you i always thought you'd be by my side, i always thought you'd be in my life i always thought you'd be by my side, i always thought you'd be in my life the older i get, i'm more comfortable using scissors the older i get i'm more comfortable, using scissors even when i don't want to i don't want to it hurts me too, it hurts me too it hurts me too
5.
have you let someone in who you later wished you didn't? have you felt your heart drop into your stomach when they show their hand, and you're disappointed. again. have you been reluctant to build new relationships because of your mistakes, but they're not your mistakes you didn't deserve any of it you didn't deserve any of it you didn't deserve any of it you didn't deserve any of it
6.
on the phone the other day my mother said she was proud of me and i held my breathe while crying thank you called off work the other day because my brain was mad at me and delia told me not to feel guilty thank you came home from the bank the other day tears rolling down my face that's how sara found me, hugged me and told me they love me thank you

about

this EP is about healing + hurting visibly, letting go, and loving ur friends who empower u to do so.

credits

released January 15, 2019

recorded, mixed, and produced by Mickey Yacyshyn. additional producing by Trent Dickerson.
mastering by Mickey Yacyshyn and Mark Plant.
guest guitar + vocal performance by Andy Lewis on Cotton Mouth.
artwork by Alyson Yacyshyn. design by Mickey Yacyshyn. layout by Sang-Jin Lee.

this would not be possible without my sister, Alyson Yacyshyn, Hannah + Delia Rainey, Sier Stolpe, Jordan Weinstock, my dog, Nymeria, and anyone who has shown me care, love, and support.
thank you, thank you, thank you

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camp counselor St. Louis, Missouri

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